Sad Week

My head hurts, really bad. Thankfully I am not sick anymore and I have my voice back. I would like to thank my bed, my cough medicine, Mark’s delicious stuffed pepper soup and medicinal cough drops, and my box of lotion tissues for my speedy recovery. A great big thanks to all!
Yesterday at work Al informed me that John Ritter died. Obviously misinformed, he pronounced that he died from a drug overdose, which really bothered me. I always thought of John Ritter as the ever-so funny and sweet Jack Tripper of Three’s Company. Although many times you find out that some celebrity is a drug-addict (and we have to wonder — who isn’t these days?) Afterall, if most celebrities weren’t hooked on drugs or abused when they were growing up, those E! True Hollywood Stories would be really boring. But I never thought that John Ritter would be one of those guys. I remember Joyce DeWitt saying that she loved working with him and he was the sweetest guy in the world. Fortunately,(well nothing about this is fortunate) he didn’t die from a drug overdose. I don’t think I can ever watch Three’s Company again without thinking, “hey he’s dead now”. I guess 8-Simple Rules will be cancelled now. I didn’t really like the show, and Katey Sigal annoyed me because even though she looks different now, everytime I saw her I couldn’t get the picture of her big red trashy hair from “Married With Children” out of my head. I guess it is hard for me to not associate things with other things. I love watching “All in the Family”, but ever since I found out that Rob Reiner is really fat and bald now … well ya know. And need I say more about Sally Struthers? And Carrol O’Connor is dead. I don’t know why I don’t have this problem with my soap opera. They replace characters all the time, and within a month I forget that the old character ever existed. Maybe it is just because the shows are old and I cannot watch them without thinking about them in the present. I love Cheers, but Ted Danson is old and bald, he’s just fugly … watching Becker brings me to the reality that he isn’t a stud anymore, so I try to refrain from watching it.
Anyways, I am really sad about John Ritter. One day I was watching a made for TV movie with my brother, starring John Ritter. I was probably about 15-16, and I wasn’t a Three’s Company fan then, but I knew who he was. I guess I asked what happened to him or something, and my brother told me that he was gay and died of AIDS. I believed that for the longest time, haha … I’m rambling, I know.

Since I’m on the topic of death, we have yet another FC death to report here at the Broken Duck headquarters. The death of an odd boy who befriended me in high school during study-hall. He used to write me love-letter type things, always on that square graph paper. Not long after we started talking, he started dating my friends younger sister. They were together for at least 2 years. My best, yet dumbest memory I have is our trip to the Butler Mall. His name was Jim, but everyone called him Shaffey. He was kind of odd, he collected Pez, and he claimed to be rich. I say “claimed” because we never saw his money. Anyways, one day Shaffey decided he wanted to go to the Butler mall, but nobody had a car. Shaffey, claiming to be rich, decided that he was going to call a taxi to come take us to the mall (which is about 30 miles away). So the Taxi comes and we hop in and leisurely ride to the Butler Mall. The cab-dude says “Just give me a call when you want to be picked up”. We are like “yeah cool” and go on our shopping venture. I don’t think we bought anything, and we weren’t there long. I don’t remember what the point of the trip actually was. Anyways, we decided to leave, and we called the cab-dude back. Then, oddly, we happened to run into Shaffey’s dad (I think) or some kind of parental figure that demanded to take us home. Shaffey did not want to say that we had hailed a cab, so we had to hide when the cab-dude came to pick us up. Hence, we ditched the taxi, and got a free ride home.
After I graduated from high school, Shaffey opened up his own computer store in FC. I remember going there and when I went in, there was a cat chilling out inside of a computer case. His store was kind of crappy, and he was trying to sell really shitty computers for a lot of money, but whatever. Then I guess he moved his store to Kittanning … I don’t remember much else after that. I haven’t talked to him since he broke up with my friend’s sister, which was like 2 1/2 years ago. I guess I don’t really talk to anyone anymore. I guess that is what happens when you get old.
I think I am just completely shocked right now. I’m not really that sad because I did not consider him a dear friend, but he was someone that I talked to a lot. Before I came to college, Jamie was my best friend and her house was like my second home. Her sister Kelly and Shaffey were pretty much a constant in my life. It was like we were all related, like we really didn’t “love” each other, but we were always around each other. I always considered him to be someone that was easy to talk to. Since he was fairly odd, I felt like I could pretty much say anything to him. I’m weird like that … always relating to people who seem weirder than me. Maybe because I always find it hard to relate to people who are normal. And I guess that is because I am different too. I cannot relate to 99% of the people in this world. It seems like when I talk to people, if I just act like myself and say anything that comes out of my mouth, there is a point where they will just stop and look at me like “ok”. Well, see Shaffey was one of those peope, where no matter what I said, even if the “ok” look arose, you could always just laugh and think “well stranger things have been said.” It is like this one guy that I work with. He is seriously my dad’s age, but I can say anything in the world to him and he will find something to say back. It seems like so many people are impossible to relate to, everyone is anal, everyone takes everything you say way too seriously, nobody has an open mind for pure silliness, sarcasm, or just plain whatever. I have found that I don’t even have much of a sarcastic side anymore. I still think things, but I rarely say them. If I express myself in that way, I feel that I am being judged as being mean or rude. Occassionally, I still give people dirty looks, or mutter a “fuck you fat bitch” above a whisper. And I guess I should not care what others think, but that is a myth because everyone cares. But I can’t help it, when I’m at work and some fat ass woman orders a whole pizza for herself with like 12 toppings when I’m trying to leave, I can’t help the “You fucking fat ass lard”.

Anyways, I’m still sort of upset about this whole “death”, and all I know is that it was a murder/suicide. I guess one of those jealous rage things that happens when someone goes nuts on the significant other. I did not know his current girlfriend, I just thank God that it happened now, and not before when he was dating my friend. I never imagined or sensed that he was capable of something like this. Maybe he has changed in the past few years. I know a lot of weird people, but that does not make them murderers. I don’t often associate with people who are crazy enough to take his/her own life, or the life of another. Death, murder, suicide, guns, violence … it really really freaks me out. I really do not understand the world, people, anything. I just sit around and think way too much, so I’m glad that LJ is back in my life to let me type away my worries.

In other news, the entire time I have been writing, my roommate and his girlfriend have been screaming at each other. I hear sniffles, yelling, door-slamming, and I don’t want to leave my room. I sure wish I had somewhere else to live, with someone else to live with. But for now, I am stuck here, broadcasting to you from Highland Park/East Liberty Ghetto Town USA.


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