Happy Crap Day

Wooo, it’s Valentine’s Day. I don’t have a Valentine and I really don’t care. Now that all that is out of the way, I’m going to talk about how lovely it is to receive Valentines Day presents from weird strangers.

This morning I was going about my business at work and the security guard called me to let me know that I had a visitor. The security guard never bothers to tell me who it is, so I just figure it is one of the usual people coming to bother me or give me something. As a side note, the place I work is highly secure, and every visitor must sit in the lobby until I come down the steps, walk through the many protected doors and retrieve the person, claim this person as my guest, and promise to take full responsibility for said individual . This is rather stupid because many of the visitors are frequent ones that everyone knows well, and it is just annoying.

So I get downstairs and see this demented smiling woman in the lobby who says ‘Jessica, I just wanted to come over and give you a Valentines Day present!!!!’ She was really cheery, in a scary way … and I had no clue who she was. She gave me a glass candle in the shape of a heart and I thought she was going to hug me! Then she proclaimed that she was a new sales manager at the hotel next door, that she had found my name in the database, and that she just wanted to come over and say hello and let me know that she could get me a big discount the next time I book a room next door. So this girl was like way too excited about her new job … and she scared me. I told the security guard not to let her back in EVER again (unless she has more presents for me). Geesh. So that was my Valentines Day present. It is now sitting on my coffee table. It is kind of pretty. Thank you scary woman.

Right now I’m eating a piece of heart shaped chocolate that I received from my friend at work. We had a discussion at work today about how men suck. She is celebrating her first Valentines Day as a single woman in quite some time, and I’m celebrating not having a guy period. Guys suck, and if they didn’t, I’d have a big bouquet of flowers and a pink teddy bear or other cute stuffed animal right now. Maybe I’d be out at dinner or sitting here enjoying the company of my handsome guy. But since men simply suck and don’t like me, I’m not. Not that this only has to be on Valentines Day or anything … I’d like it any day. But that isn’t going to happen because apparently I am not smart enough to find one of those guys. I won’t say I’m not good enough, because that would be putting myself down and I won’t do that today. Because I went to see “The Vagina Monologues” this weekend with my friend and I learned that so many women have issues with their vaginas. I love mine, it is great … its cute and sexy, and well … I don’t really want to share it with anyone else anyways. And if I had a guy I suppose I’d be expected to do that. Oh yeah, and that piece of chocolate I just ate is perhaps the most delicious chocolate I’ve ever tasted in my life. I want some more.

2 Responses to “Happy Crap Day”

  1. Julie says:

    What database did she find you in? Is there some sort of all-encompassing Oakland employee database? If so, add me plz!

  2. Jess says:

    Nah, just in the hotel database. I book rooms there a lot.