Remember me??

I never really made any ‘real’ friends in college that I met in class. I’m just not a social butterfly I guess. In my last semester of college … way back in December 03, I had a business communications class. In this class, we formed groups of four or five for the semester to work on projects and presentations together. We had to work on things a lot outside of class, so one of the first things we did was exchange email addresses and phone numbers. There was this one guy in my group, somewhat of a charming and very unique individual. I clicked with him right away, and soon we found each other communicating daily by email about our projects. Somehow we formed our own little group and didn’t really always consult with the others. I’d have to say we were the group leaders though. There were two other people in the group, but they didn’t contribute much and pretty much let the two of us set the group meetings and come up with the great ideas. There was just something about the way he said my name … and when I’d call him on the phone about something … he always answered ‘Hey Jess’. Ok, not heartbreaking or anything, but he always seemed to have time to chat and really enjoyed talking to me. I was with Todd at the time and wasn’t trying to develop a crush on him or anything, but he certainly gave me the feeling that I was more than just a pesky group member in one of his classes. It was his last semester too and he had plans to travel around because he had family in a lot of other parts of the United States. He wasn’t sure if he was going to settle down in Pittsburgh.

I remember one of our last conversations. I came into class with a juice box of apple juice and he said to me ‘I’m so jealous of your apple juice’. And I said, ‘Would you like some?’ He answered, ‘No, I caught a cold from my little two year old niece, and I’d probably make you sick.’ I said I was sorry he wasn’t feeling well and he replied that he knew he’d get sick from being around her but that sometimes it was just worth it. I don’t know why, but that little conversation just sticks in my head. Anyways, the end of the semester came and I passed the class, graduated, and went to my parents for Christmas. On Christmas Day I looked at my phone and saw I had a voicemail. When I checked it, it was him … he had left the most sweet and amazing message wishing me a Merry Christmas, and it was truly sincere and sweet. I was shocked. I figured I’d never hear from him again. And you know what, I was my usual awkward self. I never called him back or sent him another email … I just let it go. Because I knew that it was something that could have developed into more than just friendship and I was in a relationship, although I don’t think I ever mentioned it to him. But we didn’t really talk much about our personal lives. Anyways, I often wonder about him. I wonder if he is still in Pittsburgh, if he moved on and is living his dream, or if he ever thinks about me … does he even remember me? Not that I think he was the one and I let him go … no, it was just that he really touched me in some way and I wish I would have gotten to know him better. I regret never returning his call, really. I Googled him a few times, but never came up with anything. Sometimes I think about sending him an email but it was over two years ago since we last spoke. He probably doesn’t even have the same email. But it is worth a shot … I know. But I don’t know what I’d say. He’d probably think I’m a nut. Anyways, it is weird … I usually don’t connect with people that easily or feel bad about brushing them aside, but he was different. Just makes me wonder what was there … and what would have happened if I wasn’t such a wuss.

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