I beep and eat noodles, wooh

I thought you’d all like to know this. I beep when I go through the “you stole stuff” detectors at every single pharmacy in Oakland. Whether I’m coming or going … doesn’t matter, I beep when I walk in and out of CVS on Forbes, Eckerd on Forbes, and also at Rite-Aid. At first I thought it was the metal ring on my purse, but it is not. I must have eaten one of those metal strips and now the detectors think I’m a store item. When I go to Rite-Aid in the evening after I’ve been home, I often just grab my keys, my wallet, and my cell phone and go without my purse. I still beep. I don’t understand. Other people could go in there with a duffel bag of magnetic strips and they wouldn’t beep. Students go in there with backpacks that jingle with metal.

So one day like a week ago I asked our security guard at work to point his mail wand at me. Yeah, he has this wand that detects metal in the mail, and he has to inspect all of our mail that comes in before it is distributed into the mail slots. He did not detect any hidden metal inside of me anywhere. This has been happening now for at least a month. Different coats, different purses, no coat, no purse … doesn’t matter, I still beep! HELP ME PLEASE. I’m tired of feeling like an ass every time I leave a store! Arghh!!

I’m eating oodles of noodles again tonight. This is like the 4th day in a row I’ve eaten it for dinner. I’m going to turn into a noodle pretty soon. But its soooo cold and the soup is warm and salty … and I forgot I actually don’t hate it. Damnit.

That is all really. I had to sit here and let heat blow on my head as I thawed from being outside. I had no towels or socks so I had to go to the laundromat. It sucked. It is 21 degrees outside. BRRRRRRR!

2 Responses to “I beep and eat noodles, wooh”

  1. Kim says:

    I beeped a few times at Rite Aid in Oakland and the manager told me that it might be because I walk slowly through the detectors. I don’t quite understand that logic, but perhaps if you dawdle while inside the detector it goes into super sleuth mode. I have no idea.

  2. Julie says:

    That’s good to know – the next time I want to steal something, I will be sure to walk out slowly and I’ll tell them the beepy thing must just be malfunctioning.