The Ants Go Marching, then they die, Hurrah Hurrah

The ant problem in this apartment is getting out of hand. First it was my kitchen. The ones in the kitchen were murdered by poisonous ant traps. Two days ago I saw two ants in my bathroom. I was a little concerned, but pretty much brushed it off thinking “eh two ants isn’t a big deal.” However, I came to learn that when there are two ants, there are a million more lurking around somewhere. Yesterday after work I noticed that there were at least 100 ants in my bathroom. What the hell is in the bathroom? I don’t eat, cook, or drop tasty crumbs in the bathroom. They were all just wandering around aimlessly. I took action with the ant killer trap and watched as thousands of ants marched to and from their nest, triumphantly taking the deadly poison to their queen who lives somewhere beneath my shower. This morning there were dead ants in my shower and I was half tempted to not shower because it was disgusting. But the ants are all dead now. They are no longer marching to and fro … the only visible ants left in my bathroom are dead ones. Now I must go clean the bathroom, dissolve their trail, and find something to block the entrance that they were using to invade my apartment.

I should sue those ants for psychological distress … or my landlord. Someone should take the blame for the nightmares I will have for at least the next week. The ants in the kitchen freaked me out so much that I dreamed about them for weeks. They were crawling on my face, in my clothes, coming out of my hair. I itched every night as I tried to go to sleep. Many times I jolted out of bed, switched on the light, and swore to god that there were ants in my bed. One night I completely tore apart my bed and scoured it for the little pests. They are ruining my life.

Please ants, go away and so I can sleep at night and stop my murdering. I doubt you mean much harm to me, but you can’t live here. And since you cannot understand the language of humans I must kill.

2 Responses to “The Ants Go Marching, then they die, Hurrah Hurrah”

  1. Julie says:

    I hate ants too… I remember once when I was like 5, an ant crawled on my arm and I was screaming for my mom to come and help, but as usual, she was unconscious or dead somewhere and didn’t come. I am still traumatized.

  2. […] Another reminder it is March, ANTS are in my apartment AGAIN. If you don’t recall the trauma it gave me last year, please feel free to read about it here. Last year was horrible really. I thought that they were crawling on my while I was trying to fall asleep, I had nightmares about them, they literally took over my apartment and I was so close to calling an exterminator to get rid of them. I was prepared for it this year. New ant traps were set out last month in preparation for the attack. There is really nothing I can do … I live on the ground floor and they come in from outside. I can’t put ant traps outside because the area that they come in from is fenced off and someone else owns the other half of the house … and I don’t know that it would really help. I hate having to murder anything, even ants, but they aren’t allowed in my living quarters! Anyways, the first sign of the attack began this morning in my bathroom. Last year I didn’t pay too much attention to a few ants, but then a week later the amount had seriously multiplied by 1000. Don’t ignore three or four ants. You’ll be VERY sorry if you do. […]